Saturday, January 27, 2007

How the world goes round

I get up in the morning with a plan to sail smoothly through the day.

I will NOT shout at the children.
I will NOT get wound up about the state of the house.
I will NOT get sidetracked by pointless tasks and MSN conversations and then rush through lunch and dinner desperately playing catch-up.

By 1.30 lunchtime it has all gone pear-shaped. I will feel guilty from now until the kids are asleep tonight, possibly around 10.30pm. Then, I will find a few minutes of tranquillity, clutch hold of the wraith that is my inner ME, and sternly tell myself to do better tomorrow. Suitably chastened, I will shed the guilt and relax. During this moment, I will somehow convince myself that I am an okay parent, that I do give my job the attention it deserves, that my partner is happy to be with me, and that life is just peachy.

I seem to have a fruit metaphor obsession.

I also seem to live my life in circular patterns of behaviour (from Pear to Peach and Back again). This feels unsatisfying, but somehow normal.

What about you?