Political Fever

Have you pinpointed your personal niche in the political spectrum? 

I’ve recently been involved in local politics in the village where I live. It’s okay, you don’t have to *sigh and stop reading now*, because I’m not about to court your vote or try to convince you that I’m right, you’re wrong. I was just going to observe some of the fascinating oddities that crop up whenever politics rears its charming, slickly-grinning head.

• Men and women may fall out when attempting to explain politics to children. This is because it is not really sufficient (or morally acceptable) to talk about the ‘Good Guys’ vs the ‘Bad Guys’, and kids really don’t understand ‘left-wing’ and ‘right-wing’ unless you are referring to dazed pigeons.
• Many voters who are female DO like to gossip/talk constructively and positively about their neighbours. But this does NOT mean that they know who votes which way, or the secret Achilles heel that might persuade Weird Bob to switch political parties.
• If any politician won’t look you in the eye, answer your question publically or give a Yes/No answer, they are seasoned professionals. And also, chances are, LYING SCUMBAGS.
• Even though YOU clearly are rational and level-headed and vote *correctly* there’s an outside chance that the other side believe this about themselves too.

Beyond this, anything goes. Some people will vote for the absurdest of reasons. Some people will believe the most outrageous promises if there’s a chance that they might get something for themselves, (a bit like forwarding a chain email on the slight chance that a REAL angel/leprechaun might just cause you to win the lottery. Even though you don’t REALLY believe in leprechauns. And would scoff at anyone else who did. *Scoffs*)

It’s a weird way to run a country. It would be weird if we could fill out a questionnaire about our opinions and be told exactly who offers a manifesto most in line with our viewpoint. Like a Political Compass. That would be cool, eh?

Maybe one day, we’ll advance to a situation where we won’t have to rely on individual whims and crazy trends affecting what happens at the polling booth, like some sort of political tsunami that rushes in at the last minute and derails the whole process. But instead will be canvassed properly and given a government that most closely resembles what most of us want. 

I’ve re-read that last statement and it’s not entirely preposterous. Is it?